Have you ever heard the saying ‘the eyes are the window to the soul’? Or ‘it was a feast for the eyes’? Or how about ‘the eyes have it’? All of these are full of truth. Let me explain.

We use our senses to take in information and experiences and our senses code everything for us and store it in our subconscious. This is because we cannot consciously absorb the millions of pieces of information we receive each day.

We all have a preference for being visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. Let me give you an example. Three people go to a dinner party and discuss it the following day. This is what they say:

Guest 1 – Did you see those gorgeous turquoise curtains? And when that starter came out I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, that carrot like a flower!

Guest 2 – I loved the music, they mixed the tunes perfectly, but that man’s laugh at the end of the table was so annoying….

Guest 3 – It was such a fun night, I laughed so much and have invited them to mine this weekend because I enjoyed their company so much and I felt so relaxed.

Answers:  guest 1 is visual, guest 2 is auditory and guest 3 is kinaesthetic.

What do you think your preference is?

It’s useful to know our own preference and the preferences of others if we want to improve our communication with them. If you know someone’s preferences you can talk to them in a way that makes them feel comfortable and receptive to what you are saying. If you want to play it safe, use all three.

Restaurants are good at hitting all three. They:

  • describe the food in language which make it sound good and play good music
  • show nice pictures of the meals
  • create ambience so you feel good while you are there


Your eyes talk their own language

The thing that happens with our eyes which makes this even more interesting is that when we are talking, our eyes go in directions to indicate what we are accessing in our subconscious. If you have studied NLP you will know this but if you haven’t, in simple terms….

Visual – the eyes go up and left or right when we access visual information

Auditory – the eyes go middle and left when we access auditory information

Kinaesthetic – the eyes go down when we access kinaesthetic information.

So the eyes literally are ‘the windows to the soul’. And the ‘eyes do have it’.

In therapy and hypnosis it is very useful for me to know someone’s preferred modality when I am working with them. Then I can use language which appeals to their subconscious to make effective changes.


Make a special visual list:

No make your ‘feast for the eyes’ list. Make a list of things you like to look at. Aim for about 10. Maybe then go and look at those things in your photos or on google. Maybe print one off that makes you happy or make plans to go and see it in real life. 

Nice things to look at are inspirational. People pay for best views, travel across the world to see things. Spend hours in museums or art galleries ‘feasting their eyes’. I love Monet paintings and have seen many of his paintings across the world and even went to his house in Giverney. When I stood in his garden and saw the real life waterlilies it was amazing. That picture is firmly in my head forever.

This list of yours is going to be your feast for your eyes. It’s your visual cue to feel good. It’s your opportunity to get excited, in your front room and beyond. It can be real life or fantasy because these are your eyes and your choices. Enjoy.


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