I want to start this post by pointing out that no negative connotation is meant by asking how judgemental you are. That is not the purpose of this article.
We all judge to some degree. But reducing how we judge people can be good for us. It can mean we give new people or new situations more time, more compassion and more of ourselves. As a result we make more friends & have more new and exciting opportunities.
Consider having a less judgemental approach to be like a palete cleanse. Without any other flavour clouding your view of the new taste.
Or viewing a piece of art without knowing its story and coming to your own conclusions. Imagine the possibilities of what you could discover.
So what do you judge others for?
It’s easy to judge others and do it often. We can judge what we see, what we hear and what we want to see and hear.
Here are some of the ways that we judge, take a look down the list and see if anything jolts a judgement thought with you:
- How much money someone has
- How little money someone has
- What someone wears
- Others choice of holiday destination
- Single parent
- Doesn’t give to charity
- Has an affair
- Doesn’t work
- Lots of children
- No children
- Not educated to a certain level
- Lives in an untidy house
- Lives in a spotless house
- Is very loud
- Speaks directly
- Not sociable
- Lives to eat
- Spends all they have
- Saves most if what they have
- Shops at low cost supermarket
- Drives an expensive car
- Drives an old car
Your judgements about someone are connected to your values and beliefs
When we judge someone we are usually looking at a fraction of who they are, at a given time. We don’t know their true values, how they are compassionate (most people are but in very different ways). When you judge someone you are just ‘marking’ them in line with your own values and beliefs. There is no right or wrong.
But what you might not realise is the impact judging others has on you. When you think or speak negatively about others it doesn’t do us you any good. When you think or say negative things, every cell in your body feels and hears them. And the opposite is also true for positive things. So the choice is obvious!
It is likely that the more you judge others, the more you will worry about them judging you. This might affect the way you behave or even stop you doing things that you really want to do for fear of what others will say.
In my hypnotherapy practice in West Sussex, I see a lot of clients who need to increase their self-esteem and sometimes this is linked to holding back and always worrying what others might think or say about them.
It is very liberating to not worry what people about what people think of you. The less you judge others, the more free you will free. Set yourself free.