I can share with you How to show up as your authentic self in life and business because I do it! Sometimes we don’t connect the dots between ourselves and our businesses but I think it’s catching on, because I am seeing a lot of business people talking about mindset.
I’ve been following Judith Morgan’s blog fest with interest because I love reading blogs for starters (nearly as much as I love writing them!) but more than that, I love hearing people’s stories. These blogs are really people’s business stories and It all ties in with her new book called Your Biz Your Way which is about doing YOUR business YOUR way. And you can find Judith’s blog here. Now I’m all about living life your way so this sits well with me!
Treat this like this is your life
I remember someone saying to me in my Corporate job ‘Treat this like it was your business’. That excited me so much because even in a big corporation there were people that realised if you give people trust and ownership, they will be more inspired and driven. That little comment made a great big difference to my teams’ results. It was me being my authentic self in that role.
I think that ‘Treat this like this is your business’ could translate more broadly into ‘Treat this like this is your life’ and that is something I certainly live by. So many people wait to be ‘done to’ but often you have to make your life happen on purpose. You have more power as your authentic self.
Got no money; make some. Got no friends; Find some. Hate your job? The list goes on. You can change most things in your life. If you want to. Believing this is the first step. The opportunities are abundant in 2018 and we are truly blessed.
This can be a bit of a mindset shift and in my therapy business I help a lot of people with mindset shifts! But get your head in the game and this really is YOUR LIFE and you will feel like you have more options. More power and therefore more happiness.
My life fundamentals
I have some fundamentals that I live my life as my authentic self and things are not much different in my business. Let me share these with you now:
Use energy wisely
I am fully aware of my energy levels. When they are high I harness them and flourish and when they are low, I replenish. I try to never go overdrawn because when I am depleted I cannot give my best self to life, family, friends and clients
I don’t waste my energy on arguments, gossip, comparison or anything that brings negative energy into my ‘field’.
I replenish mostly in nature, walking and being around tress or the sea.
It is said that children laugh around 300 times a day and adults just 17. I look for laughter at every opportunity because it feels good! And bring laughter into my therapy practice because it’s as excellent way to access the unconscious and change how something feels.
Do things that bring you joy
I know myself well. I could write an exact list right now of things that bring me joy. If I ever feel myself creeping away from joy I act quick and get it back. This is a life skill in my view.
Things that bring you joy don’t have to be big or expensive, they just need to bring you joy.
In my therapy business I get joy from working at a deep level with clients. I help them find themselves and find their own joy too.
When I travel I really go for it. Get involved in the culture, see all there is to see, eat the local food, go where the locals go and find out about their cultures and traditions.
I explore in my business too. Mostly training in new therapies because I seek out the best trainers Worldwide. But in a broader sense trying new things with clients to best help them.
I don’t do gimmicks, I don’t endorse people I don’t trust or believe in and I always bring my true self to the table/day/session. These criteria are true to authentic self. I love values because they form our identity and it’s a big piece of the work I do in my signature package (if you are curious about what that is please do ask me). When we align to our true values people get the best of us and it’s funny how the right things come to us.
I see being my authentic self as a hugely important part of being a therapist. My energy will flow in a way that shows people my intentions are to help them the best I can. Trust and rapport are part of a good Hypnosis session.
If I give my true self, it creates an energetic circuit where my client can be open about what they want to change and achieve the best possible results.
If you are a Facebook friend of mine you will know that I share knowledge freely. I believe if we all share knowledge, the world is a better place because we all know more. It’s also a great chance for discussion.
I share knowledge freely as a therapist. I don’t hold things back for ‘the next session’, if I think it benefits the client, I share it or use it there and then. Best outcomes are my mission!
Focus on your strengths
No one asks Tiger Woods to excel at basketball do they? He is really good at golf so he plays that, wins, feels great, earns good money and thrills his fans. Why on earth would he focus on other sports that he isn’t good at? Unless he wanted to learn new things or he enjoyed doing them of course.
We spend too much time thinking about the things we aren’t good at when I believe we should nurture and grow the things we are good at. I also believe we all have a gift/gifts. You’ve just got to find yours.
Know WHO you are, not WHAT you are
I often ask clients ‘Who are you’? And they answer with things like mum, wife, dad, husband, sister, brother, lawyer, teacher, entrepreneur, fitness addict or whatever. Usually a role, job or hobby.
And then we do what I call ‘work of the self’, where we uncover the parts of them they may have overlooked or forgotten. When we uncover their real ‘who’ it feels exciting. Like a new toy to be played with!
Just so you know, I am an explorer 🙂
Everything flows when you are your authentic self
This was a very easy post to write. It flowed from the heart and isn’t it great how easy things are when we are just our true selves. I believe when we live our truth, we do our best work.
I would love to hear what you think of how finding yourself links to having a better business and if you want to hear more from me, please come and follow me on Facebook and Instagram
Until next time.
Sweet and sour
The other day I heard some children talking about peoples’ reactions when they played their game of sweet and sour.
Apparently sweet and sour game is where you sit in the back of a Volvo and wave at strangers in others cars. If they wave back they are sweet and if they don’t they are sour! I heard about how one man had showed them a doughnut and another man did a salute. They thought this was great. Children find lots of ways to have fun for free.
Adults can have fun for free too. You might get some funny looks if you play sweet and sour but here are some ideas of things you can do for free.
- Go to the sea
- Take a course, there are free courses available at future learn
- Cook something or invent a new dish
- Cloud watch…….. Oh sorry I’m back. I just got distracted by some clouds!
- Put some of your favourite photos in a collage
- Read. Even if you hate reading there must be a book that you would enjoy. There are sites that find books you might like. Try whatshouldireadnext
- Music changes your mood in 3 seconds. Choose a belter and sing your heart out. These girls are funny!
- Be a tourist in your own city. I did this recently in Brighton and had a lot of fun
- Make your Family tree. Free at most libraries
- Walk in nature
- Go window shopping to see what you don’t need to buy!
- Create something. A scarf, pen pot, book, shed
- Find a group near you on Meet Up. If you can think of it, there’s a group for it!
- Watch inspiring Ted talks
- Look at some art to inspire you or make you wonder what it is!
- Explore. On foot. On a bike. In the car
- Try creative writing or even a blog
- Create a new outfit out of your existing clothes
- Watch animals
- Learn a new skill
- Try some adult colouring
- Create a mission for yourself – maybe see all the Royal Parks or local parks in your area? Visit all the libraries? Find the local markets?
- Help someone else – Radio 1 have a great thing at the moment where you can give an hour to help others
- Grow something
You will notice that most of these you can do alone. This is because if you make your own fun and happiness first, you become self-sufficient in your happiness and rarely bored and lonely.
I would love to hear your ideas of free things to do. Please add them to the comments and share them!
Here’s the plan:
- Read your gratitude list often
- Make sure Mind COP is on patrol
- Pick one list from the list, do it and see how you feel
- Feel free to share this post on facebook or twitter!
- Like me on facebook
Happy hug 🙂
How I got my limiting belief about parking tickets
A few years ago someone told me that if you don’t fit your whole car in a car park space (including the tow bar) that a traffic warden could give you a parking ticket. So for years I have sought big enough parking spaces to make sure I could fit my whole car in them. It only occurred to me today that I had lived by this ‘rule’ without even checking if it’s true!
The point of telling you this is that quite often we make ‘rules’ for ourselves which we then then strictly live by. And most of the time they are complete nonsense but stop us doing so many things that we could or would do. These ‘limiting beliefs’ can seriously alter the course of your life, stop you taking opportunities and stop you fulfilling your potential.
Can you imagine how much time and petrol I have spent finding spaces when I could have parked in the first one I saw. Limiting beliefs do this. They stop us getting things we want or need. They ‘block’ us.
Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we make them true for ourselves.
Here are some common limiting beliefs that you may have
The first limiting belief that stops you being confident is ‘I’m not confident’. So I ask you? Were you a confident child? Are you not confident in all situations? If you are not confident in social situations but you are confident in your profession or parenting, then maybe it is not true that you are ‘not confident’. Once you overcome your limiting beliefs about not being confident you will be amazed how much confidence you have!
Two common limiting beliefs I hear people say when they come for Hypnotherapy for weight loss are ‘I have a big appetite’ and ‘I can’t lose weight’. Well if you believe these things your body will believe them too. Especially as your brain and stomach are in constant communication (with the stomach being called the second brain). So all the time you believe these beliefs you are unlikely to lose the weight you want to lose. Your brain also likes negativity! So you need to ditch negative limiting beliefs to achieve your weight loss goals.
Of course depression feels very real and it would be hard to think that you have beliefs around depression. But as this is a subject I specialise in as a therapist, I can say with confidence that you may have beliefs along the lines of ‘I can’t enjoy my life’ or ‘I will never be happy’ or ‘I’m not lucky in life’. These are beliefs that will keep you stuck and they are not always easy to overcome on your own.
When you are put in a situation that clashes with your limiting belief this may make you feel anxious. Imagine your limiting belief is that you can’t talk in front of a group and then you are given a presentation to do at work. This causes a lot of people a lot of anxiety to the extent that many people even have panic attacks. Imagine swapping the belief that you can’t talk in front of people to ‘I can talk about anything to anyone’ What would that be like?
If you believe that you can’t be motivated, that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may let opportunities pass you by, believing you will lack the motivation to do them. You may see other people moving on, doing things you wanted to do. And the truth is they are no different to you but they just don’t hold the same belief around motivation.
If you have lived then you’ve probably loved and maybe been hurt. Quite often this will give you limiting beliefs like ‘I will get hurt’ or ‘no one will love me like I want to be loved’. These are ingrained by your experiences and the pain you felt. With a bit of work on yourself you can overcome these thoughts and feelings.
The limiting beliefs around money are vast! You may have inherited some like ‘it’s wrong to waste money’ or ‘you have to work really hard to make money’ or even some that make you feel guilty about having money. These will hold you back in your career or your business. You need to believe that making money is ok, that you deserve money and that you don’t need to feel guilty about having it or spending it.
Half the job of relaxation is believing that you can! I hear this a lot in my Hypnotherapy practice, people say ‘I can’t relax’ or ‘I can’t meditate’ and so we do some work and then they are soon deeply relaxed. And once that has happened, that belief is soon out the window! My top tip for anything is believe you can and you are halfway there.
Finding your limiting beliefs
Identifying your limiting beliefs can be a big piece of work and NLP can be very useful for identifying them and overcoming them. You can read about NLP here. Basically, we all create our own ‘map of the world’. Our map is what we believe is the way it is, how it should be and how people are and should be. This ‘map’ is created by our own experiences and beliefs we absorb and inherit from others.
If you want to start looking for them then look out for things you think or say that begin with:
- I can’t
- I must/mustn’t
- I am/am not
We can unknowingly hide behind our limiting beliefs and subconsciously use them as excuses not to push ourselves into uncomfortable situations (which is where we grow the most). We can also use them to protect ourselves from fearful situations. i.e. if your belief is that you don’t ‘fit in’ you will most likely avoid situations where you socialise and therefore avoid your fear of ‘not fitting in’.
Some of the most common limiting beliefs are below. Can you identify with any?
- I’m too old, too young, too fat, too out of shape, etc.
- I’m not clever enough
- I’m not outgoing
- I can’t do that.
- I don’t have confidence
- I don’t have enough skills or talent
- I am not motivated
- I’m terrible at managing my time, money, etc.
- I make too many mistakes
- Successful people have more drive than me
- I’m a failure
- I’m a slow learner
- I don’t fit in
- I’m unloveable
- I procrastinate too much
- I don’t have time
- I’m too old to try that
- I have too many responsibilities
And of course, the big one that can make or break a life is ‘I’m not good enough’. I just want to tell you now that YOU ARE.
I can help you break through your limiting beliefs and living the life you really want
If you want to explore your limiting beliefs or indeed yourself, please do drop me a text or email and let’s have a chat about introducing you to you 🙂
Sign up for the free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge
I’ve seen enough ‘frazzled’ clients to understand that prevention is always better than cure when it comes to mental health.
You might want to sign up for my free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge which is an easy to follow plan for busy people. Just sign up here
Sending you anything is possible vibes.
So today is International Women’s day. International Women’s Day is a worldwide event that celebrates women’s achievements – from the political to the social – while calling for gender equality.
It has been around since the early 1900s and is now celebrated every year. It brings together governments, women’s organisations, corporations and charities.
This year’s theme is #BeBoldForChange – You can watch a short video about what being bold means here
This got me thinking about bold women….
You’ve got women like Ellen Mcarthur the solo long-distance yachtswoman. On 7 February 2005 she broke the world record for the fastest solo circumnavigation of the globe, a feat which gained her international renown.
Or Aviator Amelia Earhart before becoming the first woman to fly an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean in 1928.
Or how about Rosa Parks, a 42-year-old African-American seamstress refused to give up her seat in 1955 to a white passenger on the Montgomery City bus.
And of course suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst who shaped an idea of women for our time and shook society into a new pattern from which there could be no going back In 1903. She staged hunger strikes and withstood violence and abuse to enable all women the right to vote.
And Malala Yousafzai who was shot 3 times in the head on a school bus in Pakistan because she had spoken out about education. She is now said to be one of ‘The 100 Most Influential People in the World’ and co-received the Novel Peace Prize in 2014, aged 17 years old.
So what makes a bold woman?
What all the women above have in common is a purpose. An inner calling to do what it is that they believe in. To be true to themselves.. These women are great women to remember this International Women’s Day. They were fully aware of their values and fully aligned to their purpose. That gave them the energy and the confidence to pursue their very different dreams and beliefs.
Now we won’t all have a purpose maybe as big as theirs but EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. has:
- A heart
- A purpose
- And the ability to be bold
I see it all the time in my Hypnotherapy practice. People who have let life get in the way and they’ve forgotten these bits of themselves. Then we start doing some ‘work of the self’ and there they are. Eyes brighter and sparkling, remembering those parts of themselves that they’d forgotten. Their fire ignited and that inner strength alive.
What will your bold thing be?
Being bold can be anything! It doesn’t have to change the world, it just needs to feel brave to you. How about:
If you are dealing with a phobia or anxiety it might be:
- Putting a spider out by yourself
- Driving on a motorway
- Flying without fear
- Giving a presentation
If you are depressed it might be:
- Telling someone how you are feeling
- Leaving the house
- Making new friends
- Seeking some help
If you want to lose weight it might be:
- Commiting to a date to start healthy eating
- Joining a gym
- Getting a bike
- Telling people you want to change
- Admitting to yourself you aren’t really happy as you are
If you lack confidence it might be:
- Stop being a people pleaser
- Saying ‘no’ to people who scare you
- Saying what you really think
- Starting a new hobby
- Speaking to new people
Show the world your bold!
Being a bold woman is being who you really are. Showing the world who you are. Not being afraid to be different. Not being afraid to speak up or speak out. You can be bold in your own time and on your terms.
You can have a great job, run a business, bring up children, travel, be single or in relationship. Your life can be whatever you want it to be. You might just need to be bold to make it so.
Let’s get bold together
Sign up for my newsletter here or ask me about how Hypnotherapy can help you find your bold.
Sending bold vibes 🙂
Love is probably the strongest emotion we will ever experience and so you will no doubt want to feel more love in your life. Love can give us joy, strength and hope. When we feel love it flows through every cell in our body and releases oxytocin. Oxytocin reduces stress and anxiety and can act as an anti-depressant.
Here are some ways you can release Oxytocin (apart from falling in love, sex and childbirth!):
- Hugging someone or imagining to hug someone
- Do a random act of kindness
- Move your body
- Practice relaxed breathing
Feel more love with your senses
Love feelings come in more forms that you may immediately think of. We are multi-sensory creatures and we can light up our pleasure centre in many ways. Anything that touches our senses can give us pleasure. So how about looking for opportunities to feel more love more often and fill your life with as much love as possible. Here are some ideas, how about:
What do you love to hear or listen to? What music caresses your ears? What makes you sing your heart out or makes the hairs on your body stand on end? And what about the sounds that you haven’t yet explored? Or maybe you love the tempestuous sound of the waves crashing on a stormy day…..
You know the saying ‘A feast for the eyes’? Well, what feeds your eyes? Is it bright colour that makes you feel full of energy? Are you surrounded with things that you that you love to look at? It is said that even having photos on your desk at work will raise your happiness levels. Do you seek out beautiful places and take the time to absorb their beauty? Or maybe you like to look at photos and notice something new every time you look at them. Or maybe you like to see the warmth of people’s smile or the chink of light in their eyes as they laugh an that make you feel more love…………
Food is the language of love for many. With ten thousand taste buds in your mouth, that’s a great way to feel more love! Do you take time to savour delicious things? Do you get excited about trying new restaurants or even supermarkets! Maybe you browse the aisles and imagine how new things might taste. We are so fortunate to have such a variety of choice at our fingertips. Every day can be a new food adventure and a chance to nourish our body in a new exciting way………….
Do you have a favourite smell? Is it a natural smell or maybe something unusual? It is said that the most popular smell is the smell of freshly baked bread. Others include cut grass, aftershave, clean laundry and coffee. Smells can light up our other senses and evoke childhood memories. Maybe you like to luxuriate in your signature scent from time to time…….
What do you love the feel of? Do you have certain textures that you love? Maybe you love the feel of smooth carved wood or velvety cushions? Do the clothes you wear feel nice next to your skin and you love wearing them. Do your home furnishings make you feel cosy and comfortable. And how do you enjoy moving your body? Maybe you dance or act and love losing yourself in the movement of music or the character of a part……
Love yourself and love your life
Then of course there is just so much to love about life! I would love you hear about what you love in the comments.
And if you are not loving your life, please do sign up for my newsletter because I can absolutely help you. If you feel like you are not loving your life it can be difficult to see how you will be any different. But with a bit of support, some techniques to manage your mindset and a new found understanding of yourself you can love yourself and your life more than ever before.
If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch at [email protected]
Do you know what Faberge eggs are? They are jeweled creations made by Carl Faberge between 1885 and 1917. Each year one was made as an Easter gift for the Russian Tsars Alexander the third and Nicolas the second.
The eggs are all completely different and individual and made of the finest most precious metals and jewels. About 43 still exist today and can be found mostly in the Kremlin Armoury in Moscow and the Faberge museum in St Petersburg. Faberge’s work was mostly inspired by nature particularly birds and flowers.
Each egg opens up to reveal a special surprise, let’s look at a couple of examples…
The Coronation Egg Faberge 1897
Made from lattice gold with the date visible under a large diamond and styled on the empress’s outfits. The surprise of the egg was a 7cm carriage inside which even had tiny curtains engraved on the windows and an opening door with a handle the size of a grain of rice.
The Orange Tree Egg Faberge 1911
This egg looks like a tree with it’s carefully constructed leaves, branches and flowers. But the surprise is that there is a keyhole and a tiny lever hidden in the leaves which reveals a bird that waves his wings, turns his head, opens his beak and sings.
The Faberge that was nearly put on the scrap heap
In 2014 an anonomus man bought a Faberge egg for £8,000 and intended to sell it for scrap. He didn’t know what it was or understand its history. It was made for Emperor Alexander the third and once identified, sold for £20 million. The collector saw its beauty and understood its worth.
You are precious and unique
The point of this post is that not everyone sees the value or the beauty of the same thing. Someone nearly scrapped a Faberge and someone else paid £20 million for it.
So think about yourself. When have you taken someone’s opinion of you or rejection of you to heart and thought that means you are not beautiful or valuable? Or special. You need the right combination of you and people who really ‘see’ you and value you. People who see your finer detail, your jewels, your sparkle, your priceless qualities.
So don’t let one or two people take that away. Move on and spend time with people who treat you like you are the most amazing Faberge egg they have ever seen. And forget about the ones that don’t.
This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.
Quick review of yesterday’s list:
Yesterday you answered a couple of questions about how you would live your life given less time to do it. how was that for you? Anything that you have realised you want to do?
Your ‘Faberge’ list
For today’s list please make a list of what makes you individual and unique and what your special surprise is (like a Faberge egg).
Why I treat my clients like Faberge eggs
Sometimes people come to see me in my Hypnotherapy practice and they’ve lost their sparkle. They’ve had their special surprise knocked out of them by life and people. I see them like Faberge eggs. Each person with their own unique qualities, surprises , skills, hopes and dreams. And I see it as my job to help them feel like that about themselves too 🙂
If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch on 07530 890089 or at [email protected]
Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).