Category Archives for Life Coaching

How to show up as your authentic self in life and business

I can share with you How to show up as your authentic self in life and business because I do it! Sometimes we don’t connect the dots between ourselves and our businesses but I think it’s catching on, because I am seeing a lot of business people talking about mindset.

I’ve been following Judith Morgan’s blog fest with interest because I love reading blogs for starters (nearly as much as I love writing them!) but more than that, I love hearing people’s stories. These blogs are really people’s business stories and It all ties in with her new book called Your Biz Your Way which is about doing YOUR business YOUR way. And you can find Judith’s blog here. Now I’m all about living life your way so this sits well with me!

Treat this like this is your life

Change Your Life Academy

 

I remember someone saying to me in my Corporate job ‘Treat this like it was your business’. That excited me so much because even in a big corporation there were people that realised if you give people trust and ownership, they will be more inspired and driven. That little comment made a great big difference to my teams’ results. It was me being my authentic self in that role.

I think that ‘Treat this like this is your business’ could translate more broadly into ‘Treat this like this is your life’ and that is something I certainly live by. So many people wait to be ‘done to’ but often you have to make your life happen on purpose. You have more power as your authentic self.

Got no money; make some. Got no friends; Find some. Hate your job? The list goes on. You can change most things in your life. If you want to. Believing this is the first step. The opportunities are abundant in 2018 and we are truly blessed.

This can be a bit of a mindset shift and in my therapy business I help a lot of people with mindset shifts! But get your head in the game and this really is YOUR LIFE and you will feel like you have more options. More power and therefore more happiness.

My life fundamentals

I have some fundamentals that I live my life as my authentic self and things are not much different in my business. Let me share these with you now:

Use energy wisely

I am fully aware of my energy levels. When they are high I harness them and flourish and when they are low, I replenish. I try to never go overdrawn because when I am depleted I cannot give my best self to life, family, friends and clients

I don’t waste my energy on arguments, gossip, comparison or anything that brings negative energy into my ‘field’.

I replenish mostly in nature, walking and being around tress or the sea.

Laugh often

It is said that children laugh around 300 times a day and adults just 17. I look for laughter at every opportunity because it feels good! And bring laughter into my therapy practice because it’s as excellent way to access the unconscious and change how something feels.

Do things that bring you joy

I know myself well. I could write an exact list right now of things that bring me joy. If I ever feel myself creeping away from joy I act quick and get it back. This is a life skill in my view.

Things that bring you joy don’t have to be big or expensive, they just need to bring you joy.

In my therapy business I get joy from working at a deep level with clients. I help them find themselves and find their own joy too.

Explore

When I travel I really go for it. Get involved in the culture, see all there is to see, eat the local food, go where the locals go and find out about their cultures and traditions.

I explore in my business too. Mostly training in new therapies because I seek out the best trainers Worldwide. But in a broader sense trying new things with clients to best help them.

Live truly

I don’t do gimmicks, I don’t endorse people I don’t trust or believe in and I always bring my true self to the table/day/session. These criteria are true to authentic self. I love values because they form our identity and it’s a big piece of the work I do in my signature package (if you are curious about what that is please do ask me). When we align to our true values people get the best of us and it’s funny how the right things come to us.

I see being my authentic self as a hugely important part of being a therapist. My energy will flow in a way that shows people my intentions are to help them the best I can. Trust and rapport are part of a good Hypnosis session.

If I give my true self, it creates an energetic circuit where my client can be open about what they want to change and achieve the best possible results.

Share knowledge

If you are a Facebook friend of mine you will know that I share knowledge freely. I believe if we all share knowledge, the world is a better place because we all know more. It’s also a great chance for discussion.

I share knowledge freely as a therapist. I don’t hold things back for ‘the next session’, if I think it benefits the client, I share it or use it there and then. Best outcomes are my mission!

Focus on your strengths

No one asks Tiger Woods to excel at basketball do they? He is really good at golf so he plays that, wins, feels great, earns good money and thrills his fans. Why on earth would he focus on other sports that he isn’t good at? Unless he wanted to learn new things or he enjoyed doing them of course.

We spend too much time thinking about the things we aren’t good at when I believe we should nurture and grow the things we are good at. I also believe we all have a gift/gifts. You’ve just got to find yours.

Know WHO you are, not WHAT you are

 No one is Youer than You

I often ask clients ‘Who are you’? And they answer with things like mum, wife, dad, husband, sister, brother, lawyer, teacher, entrepreneur, fitness addict or whatever. Usually a role, job or hobby.

And then we do what I call ‘work of the self’, where we uncover the parts of them they may have overlooked or forgotten. When we uncover their real ‘who’ it feels exciting. Like a new toy to be played with!

Just so you know, I am an explorer 🙂

 

Everything flows when you are your authentic self

This was a very easy post to write. It flowed from the heart and isn’t it great how easy things are when we are just our true selves. I believe when we live our truth, we do our best work.

I would love to hear what you think of how finding yourself links to having a better business and if you want to hear more from me, please come and follow me on Facebook and Instagram

Until next time.

Honey

x

The real secret to getting motivated

So you want to know the real secret to getting motivated? Like so many secrets to success, its very simple! The real secret to getting motivated is to clear the blocks. Yes that’s it. But let me explain why.

Clear your blocks to get motivated

Smart people know that Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool to achieving the things you want to in life and I often see clients who are looking for help with what they describe as a ‘lack of motivation’. Behind this lack of feeling motivated I have noticed the key themes of:

  • Fear
  • Lack of confidence
  • Perfectionism
  • Overwhelm
  • Disconnection with themselves

Now imagine trying to cook a meal in an untidy and dirty kitchen. You wouldn’t really want to would you? It would be difficult and not enjoyable. You would get in a flap moving things around, finding a place to put things and well it just wouldn’t feel good. That’s the equivalent of looking for a motivated feeling when the issues I listed above haven’t been dealt with.

All the issues on the list above cause procrastination and procrastination and feeling motivated   are not a marriage made in heaven. Let’s look at them one by one.

 

Fear

fear

A traditional coaching question for getting people motivated is ‘what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail’. Usually when I ask people this their eyes light up and they get excited about something. And then soon after asking the question they will try and dip into all the reasons they can’t or feel they shouldn’t do that. The reasons why will vary but the underlying theme is often a fear of failure. Failure is how we learn.

What if a baby gave up when it didn’t walk the first time it tried? And Edison, the inventor of the light bulb famously said “I have not failed 10,000 times, I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

 

Lack of confidence

Honestly, lack of confidence can stop the most qualified people from having success. It can stop people having fulfilling relationships and being able to show up in the world as themselves. If you are someone that sees other people doing things and you think you could have done it better it is probably confidence that has stopped you.

Lack of confidence is one of the easiest things to fix with Hypnosis and Coaching and like taking your driving test, you only need to do it once and you are set for a very long time. Once you enjoy the freedom and opportunities that come with increased confidence, you will not want to change it.

 

Perfectionism

perfectionism

Perfectionism could be renamed as ‘not feeling good enough’. But it can stifle the best creators and keep people stuck. Life really is too short. Of course it’s important to do a good job and do things properly, but for some people they spend so long perfecting that nothing really ever gets finished. And during the time they have spent perfecting, things have changed so much that their thing isn’t really relevant or up to date anymore so off they go again changing, improving, perfecting, missing out…..

 

Overwhelm

Nothing kills motivation faster than overwhelm. And wow we are surrounded. Battling inboxes, phones, standards, jobs, homes, family and friends. But if you have something you want to achieve you have to channel focus because your mind just can’t do a gazillion things at once. It’s not the way it’s designed and ‘good’ multi tasking doesn’t exist.

I use an amazing process in Hypnosis where we create a map of your objective and your unconscious mind will sort out any blocks to achieving it and give you an inner focus like never before.

 

Disconnection with yourself

Have you ever had instructions from someone that didn’t make sense? Isn’t it frustrating! Clarity makes things so much easier. But if you are not clear on who you are and what you want how will you be able to muster the motivation that you need? I love helping people get clear on their values (what is most important to them) and identity (I will ask you now to answer this question out loud…Who are you?).

When you get clear on yourself you will feel like anything is possible. Like searching for the right house and when you get it you just can’t stop thinking about it because it just feels so right.

 

Clear the blocks and the motivation will come, by the bucket load!

Don’t hang around, be an action taker and feel how good that feels! Here are things you can do right now.

Sending you fizzy energetic vibes,

Honey

My limiting belief about parking tickets

How I got my limiting belief about parking tickets

A few years ago someone told me that if you don’t fit your whole car in a car park space (including the tow bar) that a traffic warden could give you a parking ticket. So for years I have sought big enough parking spaces to make sure I could fit my whole car in them. It only occurred to me today that I had lived by this ‘rule’ without even checking if it’s true!

The point of telling you this is that quite often we make ‘rules’ for ourselves which we then then strictly live by. And most of the time they are complete nonsense but stop us doing so many things that we could or would do. These ‘limiting beliefs’ can seriously alter the course of your life, stop you taking opportunities and stop you fulfilling your potential.

Can you imagine how much time and petrol I have spent finding spaces when I could have parked in the first one I saw. Limiting beliefs do this. They stop us getting things we want or need. They ‘block’ us.

Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we make them true for ourselves.

Here are some common limiting beliefs that you may have

Confidence

The first limiting belief that stops you being confident is ‘I’m not confident’. So I ask you? Were you a confident child? Are you not confident in all situations? If you are not confident in social situations but you are confident in your profession or parenting, then maybe it is not true that you are ‘not confident’. Once you overcome your limiting beliefs about not being confident you will be amazed how much confidence you have!

Weight loss

Two common limiting beliefs I hear people say when they come for Hypnotherapy for weight loss are ‘I have a big appetite’ and ‘I can’t lose weight’. Well if you believe these things your body will believe them too. Especially as your brain and stomach are in constant communication (with the stomach being called the second brain). So all the time you believe these beliefs you are unlikely to lose the weight you want to lose. Your brain also likes negativity! So you need to ditch negative limiting beliefs to achieve your weight loss goals.

Depression

Of course depression feels very real and it would be hard to think that you have beliefs around depression. But as this is a subject I specialise in as a therapist, I can say with confidence that you may have beliefs along the lines of ‘I can’t enjoy my life’ or ‘I will never be happy’ or ‘I’m not lucky in life’. These are beliefs that will keep you stuck and they are not always easy to overcome on your own.

Anxiety

When you are put in a situation that clashes with your limiting belief this may make you feel anxious. Imagine your limiting belief is that you can’t talk in front of a group and then you are given a presentation to do at work. This causes a lot of people a lot of anxiety to the extent that many people even have panic attacks. Imagine swapping the belief that you can’t talk in front of people to ‘I can talk about anything to anyone’ What would that be like?

Motivation

If you believe that you can’t be motivated, that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may let opportunities pass you by, believing you will lack the motivation to do them. You may see other people moving on, doing things you wanted to do. And the truth is they are no different to you but they just don’t hold the same belief around motivation.

Love

If you have lived then you’ve probably loved and maybe been hurt. Quite often this will give you limiting beliefs like ‘I will get hurt’ or ‘no one will love me like I want to be loved’. These are ingrained by your experiences and the pain you felt. With a bit of work on yourself you can overcome these thoughts and feelings.

Money

The limiting beliefs around money are vast! You may have inherited some like ‘it’s wrong to waste money’ or ‘you have to work really hard to make money’ or even some that make you feel guilty about having money. These will hold you back in your career or your business. You need to believe that making money is ok, that you deserve money and that you don’t need to feel guilty about having it or spending it.

Relaxation

Half the job of relaxation is believing that you can! I hear this a lot in my Hypnotherapy practice, people say ‘I can’t relax’ or ‘I can’t meditate’ and so we do some work and then they are soon deeply relaxed. And once that has happened, that belief is soon out the window! My top tip for anything is believe you can and you are halfway there.

 

Finding your limiting beliefs

find your limiting beliefs

Identifying your limiting beliefs can be a big piece of work and NLP can be very useful for identifying them and overcoming them. You can read about NLP here. Basically, we all create our own ‘map of the world’. Our map is what we believe is the way it is, how it should be and how people are and should be. This ‘map’ is created by our own experiences and beliefs we absorb and inherit from others.

 

If you want to start looking for them then look out for things you think or say that begin with:
  • I can’t
  • I must/mustn’t
  • I am/am not

We can unknowingly hide behind our limiting beliefs and subconsciously use them as excuses not to push ourselves into uncomfortable situations (which is where we grow the most). We can also use them to protect ourselves from fearful situations. i.e. if your belief is that you don’t ‘fit in’ you will most likely avoid situations where you socialise and therefore avoid your fear of ‘not fitting in’.

 

Some of the most common limiting beliefs are below. Can you identify with any?
  • I’m too old, too young, too fat, too out of shape, etc.
  • I’m not clever enough
  • I’m not outgoing
  • I can’t do that.
  • I don’t have confidence
  • I don’t have enough skills or talent
  • I am not motivated
  • I’m terrible at managing my time, money, etc.
  • I make too many mistakes
  • Successful people have more drive than me
  • I’m a failure
  • I’m a slow learner
  • I don’t fit in
  • I’m unloveable
  • I procrastinate too much
  • I don’t have time
  • I’m too old to try that
  • I have too many responsibilities

 

And of course, the big one that can make or break a life is ‘I’m not good enough’. I just want to tell you now that YOU ARE.

 

I can help you break through your limiting beliefs and living the life you really want

im possibleIf you want to explore your limiting beliefs or indeed yourself, please do drop me a text or email and let’s have a chat about introducing you to you 🙂

 

Sign up for the free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge

I’ve seen enough ‘frazzled’ clients to understand that prevention is always better than cure when it comes to mental health.

You might want to sign up for my free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge which is an easy to follow plan for busy people. Just sign up here

Sending you anything is possible vibes.

Honey

x

If you want to feel more love in your life; try this

Love is probably the strongest emotion we will ever experience and so you will no doubt want to feel more love in your life. Love can give us joy, strength and hope. When we feel love it flows through every cell in our body and releases oxytocin. Oxytocin reduces stress and anxiety and can act as an anti-depressant.

Here are some ways you can release Oxytocin (apart from falling in love, sex and childbirth!):

  • Hugging someone or imagining to hug someone
  • Do a random act of kindness
  • Move your body
  • Laugh
  • Practice relaxed breathing

 

Feel more love with your senses

Love feelings come in more forms that you may immediately think of. We are multi-sensory creatures and we can light up our pleasure centre in many ways. Anything that touches our senses can give us pleasure. So how about looking for opportunities to feel more love more often and fill your life with as much love as possible.  Here are some ideas, how about:

Sound

What do you love to hear or listen to? What music caresses your ears? What makes you sing your heart out or makes the hairs on your body stand on end? And what about the sounds that you haven’t yet explored? Or maybe you love the tempestuous sound of the waves crashing on a stormy day…..

Sight

You know the saying ‘A feast for the eyes’? Well, what feeds your eyes? Is it bright colour that makes you feel full of energy? Are you surrounded with things that you that you love to look at? It is said that even having photos on your desk at work will raise your happiness levels. Do you seek out beautiful places and take the time to absorb their beauty? Or maybe you like to look at photos and notice something new every time you look at them. Or maybe you like to see the warmth of people’s smile or the chink of light in their eyes as they laugh an that make you feel more love…………

 

Taste

Food is the language of love for many. With ten thousand taste buds in your mouth, that’s a great way to feel more love! Do you take time to savour delicious things? Do you get excited about trying new restaurants or even supermarkets! Maybe you browse the aisles and imagine how new things might taste. We are so fortunate to have such a variety of choice at our fingertips. Every day can be a new food adventure and a chance to nourish our body in a new exciting way………….

 

Smell

Chanel no 5

Do you have a favourite smell? Is it a natural smell or maybe something unusual? It is said that the most popular smell is the smell of freshly baked bread. Others include cut grass, aftershave, clean laundry and coffee.  Smells can light up our other senses and evoke childhood memories. Maybe you like to luxuriate in your signature scent from time to time…….

 

Touch

What do you love the feel of? Do you have certain textures that you love? Maybe you love the feel of smooth carved wood or velvety cushions? Do the clothes you wear feel nice next to your skin and you love wearing them. Do your home furnishings make you feel cosy and comfortable. And how do you enjoy moving your body? Maybe you dance or act and love losing yourself in the movement of music or the character of a part……

 

Love yourself and love your life

Then of course there is just so much to love about life! I would love you hear about what you love in the comments.

 

And if you are not loving your life, please do sign up for my newsletter because I can absolutely help you. If you feel like you are not loving your life it can be difficult to see how you will be any different. But with a bit of support, some techniques to manage your mindset and a new found understanding of yourself you can love yourself and your life more than ever before.

If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch at [email protected]

Don’t let anyone put you on the scrapheap

Do you know what Faberge eggs are? They are jeweled creations made by Carl Faberge between 1885 and 1917. Each year one was made as an Easter gift for the Russian Tsars Alexander the third and Nicolas the second.

The eggs are all completely different and individual and made of the finest most precious metals and jewels. About 43 still exist today and can be found mostly in the Kremlin Armoury in Moscow and the Faberge museum in St Petersburg. Faberge’s work was mostly inspired by nature  particularly birds and flowers.

Each egg opens up to reveal a special surprise, let’s look at a couple of examples…

The Coronation Egg Faberge 1897

Made from lattice gold with the date visible under a large diamond and styled on the empress’s outfits. The surprise of the egg was a 7cm carriage inside which even had tiny curtains engraved on the windows and an opening door with a handle the size of a grain of rice.

The Orange Tree Egg Faberge 1911

Orange tree Faberge egg

This egg looks like a tree with it’s carefully constructed leaves, branches and flowers. But the surprise is that there is a keyhole and a tiny lever hidden in the leaves which reveals a bird that waves his wings, turns his head, opens his beak and sings.

The Faberge that was nearly put on the scrap heap

In 2014 an anonomus man bought a Faberge egg for £8,000 and intended to sell it for scrap. He didn’t know what it was or understand its history. It was made for Emperor Alexander the third and once identified, sold for £20 million. The collector saw its beauty and understood its worth.

You are precious and unique

The point of this post is that not everyone sees the value or the beauty of the same thing. Someone nearly scrapped a Faberge and someone else paid £20 million for it.

So think about yourself. When have you taken someone’s opinion of you or rejection of you to heart and thought that means you are not beautiful or valuable? Or special. You need the right combination of you and people who really ‘see’ you and value you. People who see your finer detail, your jewels, your sparkle, your priceless qualities.

So don’t let one or two people take that away. Move on and spend time with people who treat you like you are the most amazing Faberge egg they have ever seen. And forget about the ones that don’t.

 

This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a  Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you answered a couple of questions about how you would live your life given less time to do it. how was that for you? Anything that you have realised you want to do?

 

Your ‘Faberge’ list

For today’s list please make a list of what makes you individual and unique and what your special surprise is (like a Faberge egg).

 

Why I treat my clients like Faberge eggs

Sometimes people come to see me in my Hypnotherapy practice and they’ve lost their sparkle. They’ve had their special surprise knocked out of them by life and people. I see them like Faberge eggs. Each person with their own unique qualities, surprises , skills, hopes and dreams. And I see it as my job to help them feel like that about themselves too 🙂

If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch on 07530 890089 or at [email protected]

Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

 

 

 

 

 

What to do if you feel like you’ve messed your life up

What to do if you feel like you’ve messed your life up

For most people they get to mid-life and they will feel like they’ve made some mistakes in life. Many people will have lost a job, had a marriage breakup or battled an addiction.

But for a lot of people, they’ve experienced several events or traumas and they feel regretful about the life they’ve led, decisions they’ve made and things they’ve done. These feelings can spiral and leave you thinking about them almost constantly. This creates a well worn track in your mind to negative thoughts and feelings, making it easy for you to feel that way often. When I ask people who feel this way how much time they spend thinking about this, the results are from 1-4 hours a day. And when I ask them how big the feeling is, it is usually all around them. That means they are feeling really bad for a big chunk of every day.

The thing is you will be feeling really bad about something that is gone, done, in the past. Every single day is a fresh chance to start again. Even the cells in our body replace themselves so are always repairing, healing and recharging. And your life can be the same.

Stop looking back

filing cabinet

While it’s great to have memories, many people living with regret replay parts of their lives over and over. Wishing it had been different, that they had been different and the outcome had been different. This really is the equivalent of having a wound and keep picking the scab off revealing the wound over and over without allowing it the chance to heal.

Take the lessons

Every life situation will teach us something. Even if its that we never want that to happen again that is an opportunity to work on ourselves and learn from every person and every situation. If you take the lessons you might even be able to spot patterns in your choices and behaviour and you can adapt accordingly to get different outcomes in the future,

Take comfort that you did the best you could do at the time, with the resources available to you

In NLP this is a well used term because it’s easy to look back and think ‘oh, why didn’t I do x,y,z’. But we don’t always have the right answers or the right tools when the situation occurs. Or sometimes we are not in the right mindset to take the right action at a particular time.  We are particularly hard on ourselves when it comes to personal relationships but these are the most complex of all situations and the needs of each person will be different at each time making it very difficult to fulfill needs of others if you have needs of your own that are not being met. Sort of like having one car and needing to go in 2 different directions at the same time.

Make your peace

 

Now this isn’t always easy but if you don’t make your peace with the past, what are your other options? Carry it with you for the rest of your life? Keep that pain/sorrow/regret and it’s associated heaviness? Did you know that every cell in your body feels your emotions? Not making peace with your past can actually make you heal. If you’ve never seen it watch Dr Emote’s video about the love hate experiment and the effect it has on a jar of rice it’s quite amazing. How intention, thoughts and words can have real effect on something. So if that’s you thinking about things from the past, this is not good for you. Stop.

Appreciate your one precious life

It’s cheesy but true. You have one life. Never to be repeated. If you didn’t make mistakes you wouldn’t be human. Share your experiences with others and you will find everyone has a story to tell. There is a saying that if everyone chucked their problems in the middle you would soon grab yours back.

Building are knocked down and rebuilt. Storms destroy towns and villages and they repair the damage. Flowers die and grow back bigger and better. You will make mistakes in your life but you don’t have to regret and carry those mistakes forever.

 

Get help getting over the past

fresh start

Hypnotherapy is fantastic for clearing up your feelings from the past. This is because your true feelings about each experience and the more complex details of your human self like values and identity are held in your unconcious mind. Hypnotherapy and NLP access your unconcious mind and release issues from the past so you can move into the future feeling much lighter and better about things.  Free to live your life in the present and the future.

 

This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a  Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

 

Yesterday you wrote a list of ways to calm your unsettled mind. I hope you got some comforting ideas on it.

 

Your ‘my life’ list.

 

For today’s list please answer the following questions:

  • 1 – If you had 1 year to live. What would you want to do, eat, think, feel?
  • 2 – How will the answers to the first question change how you live your life?

 

If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch on 07530 890089 or at [email protected]

Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

 

Why getting motivated is as easy as changing your outfit

Why getting motivated is as easy as changing your outfit

You know how it is. You’ve had sleep but you are still tired. You’ve got a to do list as long as your arm and people expecting things from you just don’t feel like doing anything. You need to get motivated! If only you could get some motivation juice and take a gulp! You know you are wasting your talents and you feel frustrated that you don’t seem to be able to get a handle of the situation.

So how can you get motivated?

We are in a state every second of every day. Some states are positive and some negative. It’s easy for us to slip into different states as we are so versatile but the more time we spend in a particular state, the more comfortable it will be for us to be there. and the easier we make it for our brains to access that state. Think about your ‘default’ state. What is it?

If you are prone to feeling depressed, that’s because you might have made it your ‘default’ state. You know how to feel that way and are not making changes to be in a different state. Sometimes making changes can feel uncomfortable or scary. And it might take effort. But the good news is the more you use techniques to changes your state, the easieryou will be able to do it.

Changing your state is as easy as changing your outfit!

Here are 5 ways to get more motivated:

1 – Do not hide. Get dressed, open the curtains, tidy up and make your surroundings ‘open’

2 – Talk to someone. Anyone. Even if you ask a neighbour a question or call a company to query a bill, you are having an interaction which will stimulate your brain.

3 – Watch or listen to something motivational. I wrote about people that inspire me in a previous blog but you will have your own list I’m sure. You only need one to get you going!

4 – Go outside. Even a 5 minute walk will change your state. Notice things you haven’t seen before.

5 – Listen to this 5 minute audio which will help you feel motivated

Change your state

When I work with clients in my Hypnotherapy practice in West Sussex and Skype, I get them to focus on the time they spend not doing the thing they don’t want to be doing or feeling the way they don’t to be feeling.

For example:

A client that come for help with anxiety or panic attacks won’t be in that state all the time. It would be exhausting. So we examine the times when they don’t feel anxious and work with that.

A client that comes for weight loss can’t be eating all the time. So we look at the times when they are not eating.

A client that comes for stop smoking will not always be smoking. So we look at the times they are not smoking.

A client who feels depressed, will have times when they do not feel depressed or as depressed so we extend those times to make it easier for the brain to know how not to be depressed.

A client who comes for help with stress may feel stressed a lot of the time, so we need to introduce a feeling of not being stressed and extend the time spent in that state.

Once you learn that you can choose you state it’s just like choosing what outfit to wear 🙂

 

This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical lists we will be making to enhance our lives. I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of negative thoughts you might feel. Were you surprised at how many of how few there were?

 

Your get motivated list

Today list is to write a list of ways and times you would like to feel more motivated and then choose your state to get more motivated.

See you tomorrow.

Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

 

How judgemental are you?

How judgemental are you?

I want to start this post by pointing out that no negative connotation is meant by asking how judgemental you are. That is not the purpose of this article.

We all judge to some degree. But reducing how we judge people can be good for us. It can mean we give new people or new situations more time, more compassion and more of ourselves. As a result we make more friends & have more new and exciting opportunities.

Consider having a less judgemental approach to be like a palete cleanse. Without any other flavour clouding your view of the new taste.

Or viewing a piece of art without knowing its story and coming to your own conclusions. Imagine the possibilities of what you could discover.

So what do you judge others for?

It’s easy to judge others and do it often. We can judge what we see, what we hear and what we want to see and hear.

Here are some of the ways that we judge, take a look down the list and see if anything jolts a judgement thought with you:

  • How much money someone has
  • How little money someone has
  • What someone wears
  • Others choice of holiday destination
  • Tattoos
  • Job
  • Parenting
  • Single parent
  • Doesn’t give to charity
  • Smokes
  • Has an affair
  • Overworks
  • Doesn’t work
  • Lots of children
  • No children
  • Not educated to a certain level
  • Lives in an untidy house
  • Lives in a spotless house
  • Is very loud
  • Speaks directly
  • Not sociable
  • Quiet
  • Loud
  • Lives to eat
  • Spends all they have
  • Saves most if what they have
  • Shops at low cost supermarket
  • Drives an expensive car
  • Drives an old car

 

When we judge someone we are usually looking at a fraction of who they are, at a given time. We don’t know their true values, how they are compassionate (most people are but in very different ways). When you judge someone you are just ‘marking’ them in line with your own values and beliefs. There is no right or wrong.

But what you might not realise is the impact judging others has on you. When you think or speak negatively about others it doesn’t do us you any good. When you think or say negative things, every cell in your body feels and hears them. And the opposite is also true for positive things. So the choice is obvious!

 

Free yourself

wild horses

 

It is likely that the more you judge others, the more you will worry about them judging you. This might affect the way you behave or even stop you doing things that you really want to do for fear of what others will say.

In my Hypnotherapy practice in West Sussex, I see a lot of clients who need to increase their self-esteem and sometimes this is linked to holding back and always worrying what others might think or say about them.

It is very liberating to not worry what people about what people think of you. The less you judge others, the more free you will free. Set yourself free.

People who worry about this may f you judge others you will worry more about if others are judging you.

 

This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical lists we will be making to enhance our lives. I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote 2 lists. One list of reasons you think you should or want to exercise and another of exercises you could try and how you will fit it into your life. Did you make any plans to try something?

 

Your tenth list:

For your tenth list I would like you to write a short list, maybe even just one thing of how you think you might judge others. and maybe you want to try and stop doing it? Remember, it’s not as a negative thing about you, it’s to get more positivity into your life and thoughts.

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

 

Why your CV is like a dating profile

Why your CV is like a dating profile

When you walk down the street and pass people you don’t know, you cannot possibly tell what ‘sort of person’ they are. When a potential employer picks up the pile of CVs from people applying for a post they advertised, they don’t know anything about them either. They are relying on an A4 double sided CV to give them a ‘feel’ for the sort of people who are applying.

Each employer or company will have its own flavour. A set of unspoken or spoken values and beliefs that mean that the right sort of people will fit in and flourish in this company. And when employers are seeking people to work in their business, they know what they are looking for even if they can’t put it into words. So you need to put it into words for them.

You need to understand and covey the very you of you, so they get it straight away. The likelyhood is that most people who apply for the same job will have the right skills and qualifications. What is of equal importance is your ‘flavour’. Your approach, your ethics, your outlook, your tenacity and things like that.

So why is a CV like a dating profile?

If you’ve ever been on a dating site you will know there are a lot of profiles. Now unless it’s Tinder where the connection is made by saying you like the look of someone, you will read the blurb they put about themselves to see if they are your ‘sort of person’. Lots will say ‘good sense of humour’ but what does that actually mean! There are lots of different comedians but we won’t all find the same ones funny.

Likes and interests are interesting but do they really help us understand who that person is? In a non-professional football team you will have lots of different personalities, doing different jobs and having different drivers, emotions and ambitions. We want to know if they are the sort of person who likes to be the last one at a party or the one at home in comfies. Or if they care about getting a black friday deal and if they give to charity. If they would be happy with one coat of paint or would have to make sure it is perfect.

CV examples

Here are some examples from CVs. Take a look and think about what you really know about this person from their opening statement:

Person 1 – Highly-skilled and meticulous communications professional with experience and extensive understanding of implementing and delivering engagement methodologies and communications activity plans.

Person 2 – As an experienced sales manager, my tenacious and proactive approach resulted in numerous important contract wins. My excellent networking skills have provided my team with vital client leads, and my ability to develop client relationships has resulted in an 18% increase in business renewals for my current organisation. After eight years in sales, currently seeking a new challenge which will utilise my meticulous attention to detail, and friendly, professional manner.

Person 3 – Driven Retail Manager with over ten years’ experience in the fashion industry. Proven track record of success, including managing the top performing store in the region, and having the lowest staff turnover rate of all UK outlets.

What do we actually know about any of these people?

You are not like the other peas in the pod

pea in a pod

Give them a flavour of the sort of person you are. Let them know how your flavour will compliment theirs to make the perfect dish. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you be clear about what to write:

  • How do you cope under pressure?
  • When are you at your best?
  • How do you deal with problems?
  • Are you a curious person?
  • Do you like unfinished business?
  • Do you have to win?
  • Do you like variety or routine?
  • Are you better working alone or in teams?
  • How do you deal with setbacks?
  • When are you at your best?
  • What are your goals?
  • Are you resourceful?
  • What makes you different?
  • What is your energy level like?

So once you have the answers to these questions you should be in good shape to write your personal profile for the top of your CV. Something that gives them a feel for ‘the sort of person’ you are.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of things of things that make you lucky. Lucky you! Don’t forget to add to that one often as it’s an important one.

 

Your eighth list:

The eighth list you have written in the exercise above is your ‘I’m the sort of person’ list. The last part of this exercise is for you ask other people what sort of person they think you are. It’s also a good idea to actually get feedback from others as it will give you new insights about yourself. Add the bits that they say that fit well into your list.

If you want someone to proof read your CV and give you honest feedback on your personal profile I am happy to do that for you for free if you mention this blog post. I am specialised in values work which is what makes us who we are and help lots of people get to know themselves better and feel more comfortable in their own skin. Some people say that self awareness is the most important development that you can do.

 

Once you get an interview

I often see clients before job interviews or presentations to help them control their nerves and give them a confidence boost. Once you’ve secured an interview give me a call 07530 890089 and let’s get you wooing your employer in the interview and securing your dream job.

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

What do eyes, emotions and lists have in common?

What do eyes, emotions and lists have in common?

Have you ever heard the saying ‘the eyes are the window to the soul’? Or ‘it was a feast for the eyes’? Or how about ‘the eyes have it’? All of these are full of truth. Let me explain. We use our senses to take in information and experiences and our senses code everything for us and store it in our subconscious. This is because we cannot consciously absorb the millions of pieces of information we receive each day.

We all have a preference for being visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. Let me give you an example. Three people go to a dinner party and discuss it the following day. This is what they say:

Guest 1 – Did you see those gorgeous turquoise curtains? And when that starter came out I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, that carrot like a flower!

Guest 2 – I loved the music, they mixed the tunes perfectly, but that man’s laugh at the end of the table was so annoying….

Guest 3 – It was such a fun night, I laughed so much and have invited them to mine this weekend because I enjoyed their company so much and I felt so relaxed.

Answers:  guest 1 is visual, guest 2 is auditory and guest 3 is kinaesthetic.

What do you think your preference is?

It’s useful to know our own preference and the preferences of others if we want to improve our communication with them. If you know someone’s preferences you can talk to them in a way that makes them feel comfortable and receptive to what you are saying. If you want to play it safe, use all three.

Restaurants are good at hitting all three. They:

  • describe the food in language which make it sound good and play good music
  • show nice pictures of the meals
  • create ambience so you feel good while you are there

 

Your eyes talk their own language

The thing that happens with our eyes which makes this even more interesting is that when we are talking, our eyes go in directions to indicate what we are accessing in our subconscious. If you have studied NLP you will know this but if you haven’t, in simple terms….

Visual – the eyes go up and left or right when we access visual information

Auditory – the eyes go middle and left when we access auditory information

Kinaesthetic – the eyes go down when we access kinaesthetic information.

So the eyes literally are ‘the windows to the soul’. And the ‘eyes do have it’.

In therapy and Hypnosis it is very useful for me to know someone’s preferred modality when I am working with them. Then I can use language which appeals to their subconscious to make effective changes.

 

Yesterday’s’ list 1

So how did you get on with the first list yesterday? Did you manage to prioritise one thing that is important to you? I think it’s important to prioritise one thing to avoid overwhelm and feel a sense of achievement for doing one thing well.

 

Your second list:

The second list you are going to write is your ‘feast for the eyes’ list. Make a list of things you like to look at. Aim for about 10. Maybe then go and look at those things in your photos or on google. Maybe print one off that makes you happy or make plans to go and see it in real life. 

Nice things to look at are inspirational. People pay for best views, travel across the world to see things. Spend hours in museums or art galleries ‘feasting their eyes’. I love Monet paintings and have seen many of his paintings across the world and even went to his house in Giverney. When I stood in his garden and saw the real life Waterlilies it was amazing. That picture is firmly in my head forever.

I also love to look at unusual animals, hence the picture taken today at the zoo! It’s not every day you see 3 beavers eating their dinner 🙂

Three beavers eating

This second list of yours is going to be your feast for your eyes. It’s your visual cue to feel good. It’s your opportunity to get excited, in your front room and beyond. It can be real life or fantasy because these are your eyes and your choices. Enjoy.

Share your list!

I would so love to hear your lists if you are happy to share please do so in the comments.

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?

This is a great question 🙂 I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.

Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time 🙂

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.

>