30 days to a happier you – Day 17 – Do you feel like a misfit

Do you feel like a misfit?

fitting in

Many people feel like they are ‘misfits’. Different to others. Like they don’t fit it. Do you feel like that?

Has it caused you to distance yourself from others? Keep yourself to yourself for fear or being judged or criticised? Maybe you feel awkward? Or wish that you were different in some way?

Feeling different can lead to isolation or negative feelings about yourself. This is because you are allowing negative thoughts to become negative feelings. ‘Misfits’ can find themselves wasting years feeling bad about not fitting in or not being ‘good enough’

Although everyone is unqiue, there are some people that are abstract. Maybe you’ve been called ‘quirky’?

How wonderful! Lucky you 🙂

In life today everyone is looking for the next new thing. Something that makes them different. Have you noticed lots of people with blue hair recently?

New foods from far flung countries fill the supermarkets….

TV shows with new ideas

New different fashion


The latest games… Pokemon go anyone?

But when it comes to people are you scared to be different? Why not embrace your uniqueness? Be comfortable with it? Although there really is no such thing as an ordinary person, it’s important to shine your light and feel good about doing so. After all, wouldn’t life be boring if there was only one flavour, one colour, one size, one texture, one smell or one emotion!

Embrace your quirks

why fit in

Here’s some ways you can be more comfortable with your uniqueness:

  • Stop trying to fit in with things that make you uncomfortable. Find the places you like being, that make you feel good
  • Spend time around people that get you. See your good points and value you for who you are. Not make fun, criticise you or make you feel bad about yourself
  • Don’t judge others and you will feel less judged yourself. When we judge others we are holding them up against our own values and beliefs, not accepting them for who they are or seeing all sides to them
  • Stop comparing yourself to others
  • Accept yourself and celebrate your quirks

The misfits myth

Here’s a great Ted Talk from Lidia Yuknavitch who didn’t believe how wonderful she was for many years because she felt like a misfit. She reads this poem which is lovely.

Even at the moment of your failure, right there.

You are beautiful.

You don’t know it yet but you have the ability to re-invent yourself endlessly, that’s the beauty.

You can be a drunk, a survivor of abuse, you can be an ex con, you can be a homeless person.

You can lose all your money, or your job, or your husband or your wife or the worse thing of all, a child.

You could even lose your marbles.

You can be standing dead centre of all your failure and still I am only here to tell you, you are so beautiful.

Your story deserves to be heard, because you, you rare and phenomenal misfit, you new species.

Are the only one in the room that can tell the story the way you would.

And I would be listening

Here’s the deal:

  • Make a list people that value your uniqueness

Happy hug J



Honey Lansdowne is a successful Hypnotherapist in Worthing. She uses Hypnosis, NLP and 20 years coaching experience to help people overcome anxiety and depression in person and online.

  • Tamara W says:

    Thank you so much for this post today. I am always feeling like an outsider with everything. This post meant a lot today thank you

  • Gorgeous! Love the acceptance.

  • At school I was seemed to excel at anything so felt the misfit or odd one out. However when I got into my sales career I found that being just little bit odd at a lot of things instead of just one, was a real advantage. Great read Honey and thank you for summarising it well!

  • The only person who needs to accept you is you, as long as you are happy with yourself and who you are, does it really matter what others think of you

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